Love 'em or leave 'em

I have a problem: I cannot control my expectations.
This is somewhat crippling.
I CANNOT CONTROL MY EXPECTATIONS
This is a problem!
It's somewhat crippling.

Don't get me wrong, not all expectations are bad things. For instance, I expect people to obey traffic laws so I don't become roadkill when I bike to work or walk into town. I expect myself to stay alive long enough to be satisfied.

Expectations kill my relationships though. My mind loves to wander and fantasize about what could be and what is going to be.

Unfortunately, that is not what is always going to happen, and I can't stand that.
I always end up being disappointed.
So I really hate expectations.
But I don't expect them to stop any time soon.
I expect it to be somewhat difficult.

Life Path

Your life path number is Master Number 11 or 11/2, and you have a unique and special path to follow. This number combines all the traits of number 1 twice over, and at the same time includes all the characteristics of highly charged number 2. With this life path number, much is expected of you, and your purpose in life is to inspire others. You possess an inordinate amount of energy and intuition, and you can inspire people even without trying.

You are a born charismatic leader, and your mission is to be someone others look to for truth and illumination, which could even be spiritual. However, you must develop yourself sufficiently to take full advantage of your powers by surrendering to higher ideals. You will be successful in any field that allows you be to a teacher, diplomat or speaker where you can utilize your considerable talents at uplifting and inspiring others

I was born on 7/13/1989, making my 'Life Path' an 11. As you read above, that's a lot of expectation for me.
Not having a definite plan of what to do after college graduation has lead me to looking for advice, even that of the stars and...well, numbers.
It's not encouraging to read that you're prone to self-destruction and severe depression. It's kind of a nervous confirmation of old and new behavior (and no, I am not hurting myself, in case you have teleported to that conclusion). D:
And the whole not belonging feeling? I am on that wavelength all the time, no matter who I'm with, even if I'm alone. I'm not a fan of that feeling.

I've become short-term obsessed with this. The other day I was obsessed with my natal astrological chart (which also tells me I'm very charismatic and intuitive--triple water sign). My friends have told me to chill and let it be, but I think it's already turned into something that lurks in the back of my mind, seemingly forgotten until one day it makes an appearance again. Kind of like the whole natal chart dig.

I don't know how to finish this. Goodbye? Later?